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Finding Faith

Life is hard sometimes. What’s that old saying ‘some days you’re the pigeon and some days you’re the statue’ or something like that. Well I’ve been the statue for more than a day or two recently and I’m refusing to let life’s pigeon poop on my head any longer!

Ah, that felt good to say…. even though it sounded weird. But that’s the beautiful thing about blogs. I can explain things however I want to without fearing that it might sound silly.  Anyway, let me catch you up.

So I’ve been having a hard time lately, and normally I find it easy to pray during times of need but not this time. Nope. I am on the prayer struggle bus. I think after years of saying ‘Lord please….’ he’s got to get tired of hearing us beg. I feel guilty to ask him to take my pain, fear, and worry when he’s already blessed me with so much. Isn’t that like someone bringing you a free steak and potato dinner and you being like ‘oh, I need you to please please please bring me sweet tea too’. I just can’t do it.

So instead of asking the Lord to take my pain and suffering I have decided to try something new. I’m going to try having a more positive outlook with my prayer life and ask the Lord to teach me something from my pain or make me a better person because of my experiences. It’s still asking him for help, but not in such a needy way. I guess after a few days vacation at the beach I’ve developed a sense of peace and feel like I need to have a more mature prayer life. On days when I have a hard time praying  or my mind has so many concerns and worries that I don’t even know how to start I just read my bible instead.

I downloaded a ‘read the bible in a year’ app that tells you what books to read each day in order to finish. I am not stressing if I don’t finish it in the time frame given, but when I can’t pray I find it helpful just to read.

When I first started trying to read the whole bible recently I got so overwhelmed. I wanted to remember everything, but let me just tell you those people in the old testament have too many dang wives, cousins, and kids to every remember everyone. And half of those people they mention are never mentioned again. Ugh, I wish I weren’t so type A sometimes. My tip if you start really reading the bible is pay attention to the stories and don’t stress about the people. And absolutely DO NOT try to make a flow chart of who’s related to who like I did for a few days. Trust me, there isn’t a sheet of paper big enough.

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